Knowing how to make space or the role of extimacy in social networks.
The strength of online communities and influencers undoubtedly lies in knowing how to create space for others, particularly through extimacy.
Tuesday evening, and already the 70th edition of this newsletter! Welcome to new subscribers (and you can read this letter in French over here). And access the archives there.
Social networks are sometimes stereotyped as the realm of oversized egos, peremptory narcissism, and a war of everyone against everyone else.
Yet, many new figures manage to gather communities around community initiatives, which aim either to educate on a niche topic (like Emmanuelle Sits and her famous advice on luxury products), or even to make the voices of certain audiences heard through in-depth political narratives (I'm thinking in France of Salomé Saqué, or Nesrine Slaoui).
Catalyst, mediator: knowing how to listen between the lines of code
The key to the success of these figures: managing to play the role of catalyst and mediator between subjects deeply and intimately experienced by audiences, finding the right words and expressions to formalize emotions and ideas, and nourishing the conversation over a long period. A conversation that allows these audiences to feel represented, listened to, which can lead people to feel more invested. Some even come to realize that their ideas matter and make a difference.
The fuel for these social media dynamics is precisely a famous force, the digital liveness that occurs between the influencer and their community. Formulas like "thank you for the strength", "we don't give up", "we see you" are common currency in shared content. Yoon Ahn, co-founder of the brand AMBUSH, summarizes the increasingly important role of these catalysts on Threads:
"Used to think wisdom was the ability to be like Yoda to say smart maxims, but now I think its the ability to receive the stories ppl are telling you in a way that holds space for them. Listening > Talking. Be present... really present"
Yoon Ahn
The logic is interesting: it's not an ego speaking but rather a mediator who has managed to listen to people's conversations, while managing to summarize them, to translate them into more homogeneous narratives. This curation work is also that of an author: it's not about producing a summary but about providing direction, a point of view. And sometimes taking risks, even if it doesn't please everyone.
Extimacy and reading contract
These catalysts fully exploit the concept of extimacy. As mentioned in my essay and without delving too deeply into Jacques Lacan's work, its definition can be simplified by a schema where, firstly, users tend to want to share information, their stories, anecdotes, most intimate feelings with a community of friends or strangers. Secondly, there is an effect of magnification in the opposite direction: the individual can experience events very intimately, very sensitively, events that are a priori completely foreign to them, even in regions or cultures of the world for which they had no affinity previously. This is evident in the case of exceptional situations like attacks, wars, or natural disasters; it is now also the case for situations closer to our daily lives as well.
This phenomenon of extimacy encourages making room for others. Social media accounts become small agoras for people with similar interests, or who discover a subject that will touch them. They thus create spaces to welcome many strangers, foreigners, anonymous people, mixed with very real acquaintances. With a real reading contract between subscribers and personalities.
The social media superstar Lena Mahfouf summed up the new paradigm of celebrity in the era of social media: "an actress gets into the skin of her characters, me, it's my own skin." A shift between fiction, reality, presence, and fully assumed familiarity where the individual who narrates seems to be crossed by thousands of other selves.
The impact of this extimacy is just beginning to be analyzed. According to a UNICEF report, the notion of "informal politics" continues to explode among young people, who are not actually disengaging from politics at all but rather from 'solid' institutions like parties.
It remains to be seen who will be able to capture these new dynamics; opinion leaders are already well established in any case.
The number of the week: 61%
According to the Pew Research Center, 61% of respondents from 19 countries believe that social media are effective in influencing political decisions. However, France scores rather low on almost all items. A crisis of political representation?
Amazing links
A big festive evening for haters? It's happening in the United States, and it's obviously chic and witty. Read on the New York Times.
The Dead Internet Theory is analyzed at Fast Company.
The companionship content, an interesting concept written by
(thank you for the link).
Have a great week! And don't hesitate to share this newsletter, like, comment, send me your correspondence or recommendations, keep sending me emails: these notifications are (always) a joy.
Social media extrimacy reminds me a little of the hairdresser syndrome where people feel more comfortable sharing their secrets with their hairdresser rather than a family member a close friend.