My life is a movie
Main character social networks could soon be overtaken by sidekick social networks like Ten Ten. Because there are more than heroes or villains.
Tuesday Evening on Earth! I’m just back from a 3-week break across Europe and it felt so good. You can also read this post in French. And buy my book “Alive In Social Media”.
Last month, Spotify suggested to me a playlist called “my life is a movie”. As ironic as it may sound, Spotify got something very right: we tend to fabricate our digital selves a lot through a number of tools, leading to a normalization of specific behaviours. The classic elevator selfie, or the monthly dump of photos on Instagram. Many “main character social networks”, aka social networks that rely a lot on the ability of a character to gather an audience around an identity, are inciting to become the heroes of our social media feeds, with the burden that requires.
Actors Studio for everybody, attention for none
Lee Strasberg, who created one of the first ‘method acting’ techniques in the world, focused a lot on how to be true, how not to lie, by leveraging senses and emotions. He said that when it comes to acting, actors don’t leverage a special skill like a musician does: we use the same body, the same devices. Through a lot of work and introspection, the best talents can achieve this sort of deep acting, where you don’t know anymore what’s played and what’s pure, raw truths. This assertion was made in the middle of the 20th century though. Now, with the development of creators’ platforms, and the democratization of our ability to shoot, edit, post-prod, and remix, we’re sharing a sort of global stage, a gigantic Actors Studio for everybody. But with a massification of digital characters, quality is still very scarce which can also lead to a sea of sameness both in the personal representations and in the ability to take off should you want to.
The summer hype to ask ChatGPT to roast one’s Instagram profile in one paragraph is not anecdotal. It’s a sign that across the millions of ways to express who we are, the social validation process has never been that high. The philosopher of technology Benjamin Bratton argues for Noema magazine that what we are witnessing is the “human reaction to a technology that is upsetting to our self-image … [and a] response to the slow and then sudden fragmentation of previously foundational cultural beliefs.” In a nutshell, whereas all these social media platforms promise to put the users at the very centre, we’ve paradoxically realized we’re not the central and sole focus of attention anymore.
Miniaturization of identity: a life of quick signals
Jan Blommaert and Piia Varis from Tilburg University have developed the notion of miniaturization of identity, especially in social media.
“The emergence of authenticity as a discursive and semiotic motif testifies to the miniaturization of identity work: one does not search for instructions for how to be a ‘woman’, for instance, but one searches for how to be a ‘goth girl’, a ‘Facebook star’ or a ‘perfect home-cooking chef ’. One can be all three of them, of course, and the logic of performing one ‘authenticity’ does not compel one towards the logic of another one. (…) Enoughness is a floating, unfixed norm – as mentioned, it involves judgment calls by others in which the particular ‘dose’ of features displayed and enacted by someone is ratified or rejected. It is, thus, undefinable; in addition it is perpetually shifting and adjustable: what was enough today may be too much tomorrow.”
Enough is enough, The heuristics of authenticity in superdiversity, Jan Blommaert and Piia Varis, Tilburg University
In other words, with social media profiles acting as an anchor to our digital selves, and with the contraint to have to go fast to “hook” interest, our bio tends to become a pitch to who we are. You’re part of a specific community? Add an emoji referring to it. You’re from somewhere? Add flags. The outlook of our profile (especially on Instagram) provides an immediate vibe not only on how we look but more importantly on how we feel. It’s not so surprising that Instagram is adding a Myspace-like ‘song on profile’s feature: they know it’s been a trick as well on MSN Messenger to send a social signal to our friends or followers to reach their hearts. Rohitha Naraharisetty wrote that this is what makes the irony of “MainCharacter Syndrome” so subversive:
“It is for people who haven’t had a chance to be main characters, celebrate and be celebrated for their momentary lapse into another character’s life, or turning their own into something special. It is, in other words, wholesome.”
Rohitha Naraharisetty
Leaving one movie for another
The problem when you build a digital identity for years is that users can feel trapped in one type of narrative, which does not necessarily represent who you are now. Tavi Gevinson, in Fan-Fiction: A Satire, reminds us that in general, adolescents have “the belief that how you feel now is how you’ll always feel”. Ms. Gevinson mentions that when our identity is in transition, we store memories better than we do in times of stability. In social media, these transitions do occur a lot but what happens is that you are still trapped in a narrative based on your past identity. But as you evolve, grow, and shift into new interests, relationships, or self-understandings, the digital narrative you’ve curated can start to feel outdated or even like a straightjacket. This tension between past and present identities can create a dissonance—a sense that your social media self no longer reflects who you truly are. I’ve personally erased my Instagram feed 3 or 4 times over the past few years because I felt it was no longer representative of me. Now, I’ve left it nearly dormant, focusing much more on private interactions through groups on WhatsApp or Direct Messages, as I feel more comfortable in those spaces. Or actually, I feel better in real life (IRL).
Sidekick social networks to the rescue
Sidekick social networks offer a reprieve from the pressure of being constantly "on-brand" or acting as the main character. These are spaces where users can explore new facets of themselves without the burden of maintaining a polished, curated identity. Unlike main character platforms—where followers expect continuity in content and personality—sidekick networks encourage experimentation, anonymity, or playful self-reinvention. Think of BeReal’s casual and unfiltered approach to daily life, or the resurgence of platforms like Tumblr where people can engage in communities or niche interests without the need for personal branding. Or the rising interest for Ten Ten, which promises to “turns your phone into a live walkie-talkie with your best friends anywhere, anytime. Sing it, shout it or whisper it… your friends will hear you live on their phone, even when their screen is locked!”
The growing appeal of these networks - and the fact they never die - is rooted in their ability to embrace complexity and imperfection. They allow us to shed the burden of constantly being the hero of our own narrative, making space for more collaborative, less ego-driven forms of interaction. Perhaps the digital landscape is starting to mirror life itself more accurately: there are moments when we’re the protagonist, but there are far more moments when we’re simply part of the chorus. And it’s okay.
In fact, the very concept of sidekick networks reflects a broader cultural shift towards rejecting the hyper-individualism that has dominated social media. Instead of centering around a singular persona, these platforms invite us to step back, become part of something larger, or even to disappear into the background. They’re not about turning every moment into content or every interaction into a performance. Instead, they offer a quieter, more organic form of connection.
As we continue to navigate the evolution of our digital identities, the future may lie in a balance between the main character networks, where we project polished or faux-authentic versions of ourselves, and these sidekick spaces, where we can be whoever we need to be in the moment—hero, sidekick, or something else entirely.
Number of the Week: -25%
Resale platforms like The RealReal gives a good sign of when a brand is hype or losing its appeal. It’s the case with Supreme: the once cherished streetwear brand has decreased by 25% yoy according to the RealReal 2024 resale report.
Amazing Links
FC Como Women and Nike's multi-year deal reveals the growing influence of women's football, especially on social media. Vogue Business
YouTube's 2024 Culture & Trends report has been released. YouTube.
Have a great week! This newsletter is written with love, passion, and (French) café.
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My book “Alive In Social Media” is available on Amazon.